I grew up in Japan, and as a kid, more than anything, I longed to be like everyone around me. Yet as the child of a Japanese mother and a British father, I was considered hafu, a term used to describe people who are ethnically half Japanese.
I spent much of my young life proving how Japanese I was. I would grow angry when people praised my impeccable Japanese. Too often I felt I didn’t belong in my own society. It was all too much. Always standing out felt so suffocating that at 19 years old, I moved to New York.
Japan was closed off from the Western world until the late 1800s. For much of the country’s history, mixed-race children were uncommon, particularly outside Tokyo. In the post-World War II era, derogatory words like “ainoko” and “konketsuji” were used to describe children born of a Japanese and foreign parent. It wasn’t until the 1980s that interracial marriages became more common.
But as Japan becomes more diverse, necessary changes in its society may come not through a reckoning with how biracial people are viewed but through an evolution of what it means to be Japanese. As much as we wish for a change in how society views us — and yes, Japan is evolving, slowly but surely — we should focus instead on how to navigate being seen as not quite Japanese, so that we don’t allow people’s views to override our identities.
Sarina Yasumoto, who is Australian and Japanese, is grateful that she gets to experience the best of both worlds. As I grew older, I started feeling the same way.
In the 2000s, prominent representation in the media, especially through models in the fashion industry, created a certain image of hafu: half white, small faced, big eyes with creased upper lids. While I sometimes found the term useful as a way to explain who I was, Japanese society exoticized our physical appearance. Moreover, those who didn’t fit this image — people who spoke only Japanese or those mixed with nonwhite ethnicities — found themselves falling outside the “hafu” label.
In recent years, the success of Black and Japanese athletes like Naomi Osaka has contributed to diversifying the image of what is considered hafu. Still, there was heated national debate about whether Ms. Osaka is really Japanese. That test is about not just ethnicity and race but also culture. Being able to speak the language, how much of your upbringing you had in the country and how “Japanese” you behave are key factors.
In my years away from Japan, I realized that being able to navigate different cultures and see the world through more than one lens are my superpowers. As my world has grown much bigger, I have felt more in control of my identity as Japanese and British and a New York transplant: a person of the world. But while my struggles with identity and belonging shaped who I am today, like other parents who are of mixed race, I wonder what’s in store for my young son, who is one-quarter Japanese.
Yuka Busari, who has two Nigerian and Japanese children, said that she was worried that they “would be stuck on the fact that they’re hafu.” She added, “When you grow up outside of Japan, it’s normal to have your ethnicities be mixed.”
Even in a world where being of mixed race is increasingly common, the hafu experience in Japan remains unique. Will my son feel at home in his home country? Will labels like “hafu” help him or hurt him?
A few years ago, I moved back to Japan, and now reside in Tokyo. As a filmmaker, I came home wanting to tell nuanced stories about my country. When pitching a documentary to a Japanese TV outlet, I was asked if I’d be telling the story from the perspective of a foreigner or as a Japanese person. It was a question I would have taken offense at when I was younger, but I just laughed it off. “It would be neither and both,” I answered. “Something more complicated.”
As hafu, rather than doubt or try to prove ourselves, we would do better to accept ourselves. Our distinct view of the world and life experiences will create more space in society for everyone.
Shina Peng is a Taiwanese American photographer who was born and raised in Japan. Ema Ryan Yamazaki is a documentary filmmaker.
The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. Here are some tips. And here’s our email: letters@nytimes.com.
Follow the New York Times Opinion section on Facebook, Twitter (@NYTopinion) and Instagram.