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I am Michelle Cottle, and I cover national politics for Opinion, but I have also done a lot of reporting on the graying of America and what society looks like, as it ages here. So that has led me to become completely obsessed with “The Golden Bachelor.”
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I’ll be the first bachelor that’s on Social Security.
So I’m not sure that “The Golden Bachelor” is something that I would say that I like, like. But “The Golden Bachelor” is completely mesmerizing because it is the first time they’ve done this format with people in their 60s and 70s. And it is not just a look at reality TV and all of its tropes, but also just kind of this fascinating look at how baby boomers, in particular, see aging and how they want America to see aging.
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And I’m your first Golden Bachelor. It’s all starting now.
So on the regular Bachelor franchise, the contestants are kind of young and nubile in their 20s and 30s, and the twist on this is that everybody’s in their 60s and 70s.
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I’m Leslie. I am 64 years old, and I live in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
And they are seriously of the boomer generation.
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And I am ready to play some pickleball! Ow, ow, ow!
So we’re dealing with this 72-year-old widower named Gary Turner —
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I’m Gary. Tonight is the first day of the rest of my life.
— who comes from Indiana, and he is just Americana all the way, but with better hair and a spray tan, I think.
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I yearn for the second chance in life to fall in love again, the person who can lay down beside you at night, not have to say anything and you feel it. That’s love. That’s what I want.
The most telling was the series opener where the women come up and introduce themselves to Gary. It is, from the get-go, kind of hot and heavy. They pull up in the limo, get out, and they are on Gary like a duck on a junebug.
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Gary is so handsome. I’ve checked out every last inch of him.
These are not your grandma’s boomers, so to speak. They are extremely toned and fit and tan with — I’m pretty sure some have hair extensions. Definitely sure some have had work done. But they are all focused on projecting the most youthful, up for anything —
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Yay!
— zippy, kind of sexually predatory vibe you can possibly come up with.
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You see these heels?
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Yeah.
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I’m very comfortable with 6 inches.
There are only a couple of the women who are not playing the game of “let’s act and look and sound as young as humanly possible.” And they are booted the first night. Those people do not last long. You have a woman who whips in on a motorcycle.
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That’s impressive.
— flips her hair and tells Gary —
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If you leave here with me, it’ll be the ride of your life.
One of the finalists is a woman named Theresa who shows up kind of all wrapped up, tells Gary it’s her birthday, and says —
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So I thought, why not come in my birthday suit?
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Um — [LAUGHS]
And I am just like, oh —
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Oh, my goodness.
Even Gary looks a little frightened. It’s not just a question of, well, how do the producers handle 70-year-old people making out like teenagers? It is, how are we even watching these women handle the reality of aging?
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We have power. We are loved. No, there’s always Botox.
So it’s clear that these women, in addition to just trying to come across as attractive or personable or smart or charming or whatever, are just so eager to prove they’re not old.
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Hi.
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Good evening.
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We’re all breaking the stereotypical view of what a senior looks like or acts like.
And that is definitely the undercurrent of the show. Weird split-personality moments where people are talking about their bad knees or their bad digestion or their cute grandkids or whatever. These people have had a lot of life experience. A lot of them have lost spouses. A lot of them have difficult family situations. But at the same time, they’re supposed to be telegraphing that I’m up for everything, not just young at heart, but kind of young physically, too. They have these women sleep in bunk beds like they are at summer camp.
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Do you like top or bottom?
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Bottom.
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OK.
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I can’t climb up.
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I’ll go up.
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Didn’t want to be on top. I’ve had my knees replaced. That’s a lot of climbing. So I’m going to be underneath. Puts me three steps closer to the bathroom.
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How many of you have to get up in the middle of the night to pee?
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I do. I have to. Otherwise, it’s going to be an accident.
But those pieces are never allowed to interfere with the kind of, “look at how young and perky I’m behaving.” So there’s a huge tension at play. And I think that actually is pretty representative of what you see in society in general.
What is completely fascinating about this is that it seems really fake and surreal on one level, but on the other hand, it does reflect this broader tension in society. So one of the things that has been a reporting — I don’t know — almost an epiphany is that you have this kind of understanding that in politics, older voters are consistent, and that’s who the politicians cater to. They’re just the most reliable voting bloc. And as the boomers, which has always been this 800-pound demographic gorilla, has aged, they understandably have wanted their issues looked at. They were not going to go quietly into this good night.
But at the same time, the whole idea of American society aging is not getting a lot of policy attention. We are not prepared for this. And it is, in part, because nobody likes to think of themselves as old until it happens. They don’t want to talk about what kind of housing changes they’ll have to make, what kind of caregiving changes they may face, what kind of medical issues may come up. If you talk to people about how they’re going to spend their twilight years, they’re like, I’m just going to stay in my house, and it’s going to be just like it is right now. I’m never getting old. And that’s very boomer-ish in its conception, where 60 is supposed to be the new 40, or in the case of “The Golden Bachelor,” the new 25.
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Gary! Gary!
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Nobody has fun like we have fun, right?
And you just continue to party like it’s 1985 or 1975 for as long as you can, and the rest will take care of itself. Every day, a huge number of baby boomers is entering the senior category. And what is happening is, those who can afford it kind of kick it until it jumps on them, and they have to figure out what to do with their medical issues or housing or care or whatever.
And those who can’t are getting completely left behind. So you see a rise in homelessness among seniors. You see a huge affordable housing crunch. You see a housing crunch in general in terms of housing that is accessible to seniors. Eventually, you have to contend with this. Everybody gets older, unless they don’t have that privilege. But nobody wants to pay any attention to it until they absolutely have to.
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I may not be as tight-skinned or as good shape, but I’m not dead yet.
We all want to think that we’re riding up on that motorcycle, taking off our helmet, flipping our hair, and looking great in short skirts and plunging necklines well into our golden years. One of the things that I think has been hard for boomers is that even though they’re this important demographic and they have all this political clout, as you go through the culture, we still worship youth, and you don’t get a lot of boomer-ish faces on TV. Certainly, reality TV tends to be the province of the young. So a lot of these women talk about how —
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As you get older, you become more invisible. People don’t see you anymore. Like you’re not as significant as when you’re young.
So I think that they are definitely trying to tap into this feeling that I’ve certainly seen among boomers, where they feel left behind. They feel like they’ve just been forgotten and that everybody’s trying to move so fast past them.
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Society makes us feel like we’ve had our chance, and we’ve raised our children. And it’s time now to support the next generation and take a back seat.
So as far as the takeaway from this, from a cultural perspective, is it good, is it bad, for one, it’s reality TV and we shouldn’t read too much into it, although I say that and then, suddenly, we have a reality TV president — oh, god. But I think it is instructive because it does show you this weird dichotomy and how ambivalent America is about aging in general. I mean, if you watch this carefully, you’re like, wow, this is weird. [LAUGHS]
And so I’m here to sell people on watching “The Golden Bachelor,” which, even if you just want to hate watch it, holds up this kind of funhouse mirror to how Americans and baby boomers, in particular, are approaching aging in all of its weird glory, where you deny certain things and cling to the idea that you’re always going to be young, even as this is creeping up on you.
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Here’s to you, ladies. Here’s to you. And I feel hopeful.
And when you’re ready for the finale, I will be there, Thursday, November 30. My husband will be forced to watch.
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That was precisely as gross as I thought it would be. [LAUGHS]
[SIGHS]: We’ll be there with our Leslie t-shirts on, booing and hissing at Theresa. I’m just saying.
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