To the Editor:
Re “Give the Gift of Your Attention,” by David Brooks (column, Oct. 22):
What Mr. Brooks is talking about in his wonderful essay reminds me of the Korean idea of “inshim,” a term similar to the ancient Chinese concept of “ren,” which is best rendered in English as “human heartedness.”
The people in the Korean village where I did fieldwork 50 years ago often spoke admiringly of those who had “good inshim,” meaning people who lived their lives unselfishly, showing consideration for others, doing “the right thing” even if they didn’t always succeed.
Another word that comes to mind in this connection is the Yiddish term “mensch,” which the sportswriter Joe Posnanski describes as a guy who “knows your kids’ names (bonus mensch points for knowing the dog’s name too), offers to take a photo when seeing people struggling with their group selfie and always remembers to pass along the promised book or recipe or recommendation.”
Or, to give a more concrete example from today’s world, the guy who currently sits in the Oval Office is a mensch, and the guy who occupied that seat just before him is not a mensch.
Charles Goldberg
Newtown Square, Pa.
To the Editor:
Kudos to David Brooks’s extraordinary lesson on being human. The only missing element was the power of humor, particularly when it is directed at oneself.
Burdened by a debilitating stutter in my youth, I learned to laugh at it and myself. I found that self-deprecating jokes disarmed those inclined to ridicule me and invited in the compassionate.
In time, I found out that humor was the cure. The more I laughed at myself the less I stuttered. This propelled me to a 40-year career as the headmaster of the Concord Academy and president of the Baltimore Community Foundation, responsibilities that demanded frequent oral communication.
Armed with Mr. Brooks’s advice, I will try to devote my remaining years to listening, and speaking, with a human ear.
Tom Wilcox
Boca Grande, Fla.
To the Editor:
David Brooks’s essay resonated with me at a personal level. In our contemporary age of multitasking with cellphone technology, we have lost the art of paying attention, or even acknowledging the presence of others.
I am by nature a reserved and introverted soul. However, I very much do not want to be seen as aloof by those I encounter. To preclude such an impression, several years ago I developed a habit, initially somewhat forced and awkward. Upon passing someone on my daily run in the park, I would simply flick my hand, pointing to my new acquaintance with an index and forefinger greeting.
Having logged hundreds of miles since introducing my nonverbal icebreaker, I feel a camaraderie with an assortment of individuals with whom I have never spoken. Predictably, there are others who fail to make eye contact, but over time most reciprocate with a smile, wave of the hand, or “Good morning.”
I can truthfully testify that I have been blessed by the outpouring of warmth received in response to such a small gesture of recognition.
Robert Judkins
Hendersonville, Tenn.